Ineffable Ontological Detanglement .: Introspective Assistance & Mental Analysis Manual
Woah what are you doin'? Stay away from this one until you've read all sorts of altered states of consciousness broken brain delirium shit.
When they expressed to me after I was finally able to reveal my past life recall and confirm what I said as a baby and they calmed the fuck down on me, still fucked but not hard fascist destroy no matter the cost fucked... "No, we spoke of it and we agree, we don't like what the psychological establishment did to you." I realized... You have access to something that goes a little beyond cognitive functioning level two dysfunctional delusion. A... delusional psychosis. Is it based in an inherent? Both of you? No that doesn't work... You snapped. But, together. Always together. You're always automatically linked in total agreement. It's the way it's been my entire life, I guess, okay, well. You both decided to snap the same way again. I guess it keeps you safe. And me in a lot of trouble. But. But. But. But. That snap don't make sense you can't do that one. I don't understand. No matter what it is, no matter what, I am wrong and you are right because you are in agreement, whatever you want to do to me no matter what I am wrong and you are right because you are in agreement.
At night, age seven to age twelve, after they thought I assumed they had gone to bed or they assumed I was in bed, walking past their room I would always hear dark whispering. It felt really really ominous, it triggered my paranoid empath like crazy, but I had nowhere to go within conceivable reality than they think I need to be shielded from adult world conversation. Uh, yes, yes I can see you both think all of this adult world stuff is just so incredibly dark and serious and there's just no way I'd be able to handle any of it, that's always been very apparent. One day I happened to walk in on it, my mother flashes me a deeply horrified look of "Our twisted seeeecrets!" I walked out and repressed the memory.
"He killed his wife on the third floor of the Sears tower and then he took the exit, that one was for you Robert." says Peter Mansbridge in the false memory imprint connected to this repressed memory.
Now... It seems, when you cannot bypass your perceptual filtering... Collectively, somehow, subconsciously, you both just know it's time, you have the ability to build yourself a subconscious collective containment system. You have the option to CIA brainwash yourselves. We need... To get this thing out of there, we need this option out of there. You find all recognized delusion and cognitive dissonance and whatever the fuck else is in there, you fling them at each other and make sure everybody's recognized delusions confirm each other with delirious abstractions until they can begin creating new delusions of pure delirious abstraction, confirm them with delirious abstraction until you have reached the very bottom of your delirious abstractions. So, had I clued into the conversation it basically would have gone "Our son ransacked ALL of the blood turnips. He killed his wife on the third floor of the sears tower and then he TOOK THE EXIT. HE. TOOK. THE. EXIT."
I know you didn't believe it, you just bought it. You did it to enhance your perception.
Most of the time, you can only maintain this for... Ahem, a month. Most of the time you can only maintain this for a month before you clue into what the fuck are we doing. You maintained yours for four and a half years. This is the longest it has ever happened in the history of humanity or ever will. I'm quite certain you are the only people who would ever or could ever do this to their own child. You pretty much reached the cut off point, had I allowed you to maintain this, without walking in on you, for probably about one more year you would have found yourself wandering out into the street saying "HAY. Do you know what the evil past life talking baby did!? He put a PINEAPPLE on HIS HEAD and he KILLED the MOON. IT'S DEAD. GONE. THE MOON, IS FINAL. HAY, YOU, CAR, STOP, do you know what the evil past life talking baby did!? HE ATE YOUR CAT, he just wandered into your apartment and stole all your dishes." When they finally manage to take you down you'd be screaming "IT'S ALL BACKWARDS YOU'RE ALL PSYCHOTIC YOU'RE ALL PURE EVIL YOU SUPPORT THE PAST LIFE TALKING BABY."
Shortly after I become aware of what I'm seeing, through my research, it all makes perfect sense. I was talking with my father and he was suggesting we get burgers and I said "...Sure, but, could we do it at like 6:00? I can't eat at 5:00." Then at 4:00 I hear him urgently jump at "I'm going to get the burgers now." With a subtle emotional cut of pre-outrage at me because he knows I'm just going to be so unreasonable about this. And I said "...Wha? Is my computer clock off? It says like 4:00 that's like the opposite of 6:00 from 5:00." Yeah but your mother's hungry we have to feed it. Luckily I had established "I always eat alone at my desk now" to the point that even when they're ordering fast food it's comfortable enough to just depart with my burgers. Because obviously now I am beyond the stage of being able to look at them, I'm about to finish the job.
I did not want to hammer your dignity, father, however that's what it is, that's what you did. That's what you get for ending your epic life of greatness on me in an age five established ego snap thought loop. That's what you get for in that moment establish karmatic trigger that's what you get for lovin' you head snap from your baby obsession with that song as you me baby thought loop. 'Dats when cames out baby. Baby said 'dat. Da signal, dad, da signal, remember? Dats da signal. It's time to leave. Dats what said dat Steinbach non-Christian lights arrangement out house out back yard. Put the wife in tha Christian lights arrangement it stuck, it stuck. Time leave dad da signal. Da signal. Put dat in tha thought loop. Go kill yer wife and die of a heart attack dats da signal. Ober der, ober der in ditch outside Steinbach not in house, not in house dad not in house ober der, take one knives I don't use cook dinner go ober der.
That's what all came out of me as a child. I think I made my paternal grandparents develop a repressed memory paranoid complex on me with that one along with my parents. OWEE. Owee child psychology in the middle of a loving moment.
She wants the properly ordered unnatural Christian lights arrangement in her head, not the natural lights arrangment she wants the unnatural lights arrangment, she wants it forever, it keeps her safe keeps her happy, just as you keep her safe keep her happy for wanting to destroy her and being brainwashed into being the one who marries her because you are the one who needs to close the trap. Close the karamatic trap. It's just a stupid Mennonite. The first thing you did was smack her upside the head, you can't help it that's what you do, now you sealed it, you're the one to close the trap. No that's not love at first sight that's complicated repressed memory window brainwashing, you pretty much knew it then, off and on, you didn't lose it until you ego snapped at me and lost one third of yourself. You were right to break your finger on the table laying down the line when your father yelled at you into not marrying her, he was right to yell at you, he was right to say well I guess you know what you're doing.
That's what I said when we were sitting in the grass out back waiting to watch the Canada day fireworks and she started talking about the light arrangement, it's a STATEMENT, against MENNONITES, she had to confusedly repressed memory window babble about how she actually likes it better when lights are arranged neatly and in a line rather than so haphazardly. She always has to repress these little moments of I can obviously pick up on any little thing within thinking by looking at any little signal, it says too much about my awareness of her and is says too much about my awareness of what she and the psychological establishment is doing to me for no reason.
I guess that's the signal, antichrist, didn't realize that's the signal, not everybody in this town is Mennonite, they force you to play a certain part, we're gettin' the fuck outie. Didn't realize you'd see it, that's a surreal psychological mindwarp conversation to overhear. Yes it does, yes it does, this light arragnment says we are not Christian. What the fuck you do that?